Acceptance

When parents are expecting a child there are so many emotions, questions and dreams...will I be a good mom or dad?...will it be a little boy or girl?...what will we name this little one?...I am so excited...will he someday be president of the United States?...will she have my nose?...I want to give this peanut the world...are we ready?...can we afford this?...what color should his room be?...

You want the best for your child. You have dreams for your child. Your child is going to be the smartest, most beautiful, incredible...

We were blessed with two beautiful typically developing daughters. Brigette was 5 and Angela 6 when we found out we were expecting Lance. He was planned and wanted. The girls were so happy to find out he was on his way and we all wanted a boy, but decided to wait to find out and be surprised. Just like so many families.

Something can happen, whether from birth (before, during or after), illness (mental as well as physical) or an accident (this could also result from violence).

The first emotion is denial...this can't be...will he live?...we just have to wait a bit and things will be okay...let's pray...things will be fine...

This one can last from several hours to years, yes I said years. Usually the mother will face reality first.

The next emotion is anger...how can this happen to our child?...why would God let something like this happen?...didn't the doctors know about this?...

Then comes guilt, depression, wanting to fix it, fear, loneliness...

And finally the death of a dream

The funny thing is that these emotions will come and go continually throughout the life of the child. But there is one emotion that finally comes and stays, even though the others bounce around, it is acceptance. I will elaborate more tomorrow.